December 6, 2011

Testimonies: Suzi Caughran, Part 4 (Last Part)

Here is the last part to Suzi Caughran's amazing testimony to God's grace!  I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I did.  Comment on this post, or shoot us an email, to let us know what you thought of Suzi's story.  If you would like to contact Suzi and ask her questions about her story, email us to receive her email address.  She is willing to talk with you about anything!

As I started in my iChoice orientation and training, I was told that part of the training for consultants was to go through iPath. (Path of Life) is a post abortive counseling group which is based on the bible. I wanted to go and knew I needed to be there. Wow…I had no idea what was going to take place the next 8 weeks. I hated it and needed it at the same time. It was the most healing and beautiful counseling I could have ever imagined. I was with a group of 3 other woman who all shared their stories. I finally realized, that I was a mother of 3 beautiful children. I have no idea how I was able to end the lives of 3 children because of my own selfishness and stupidity. We had a me- moralization for our children the 7th week. I thought I would die, I was in so much pain for what I did……and how could I have done that…….I had so much love and support from the leaders of our group, Debbie and Laura. I prayed and prayed, and was finally able to write a letter to my children in their honor and ask for their forgiveness.

I am always amazed how much God loves His children, and how He and only He, can turn ashes into beauty. Ashes into Beauty. So, when an elderly woman asked me the other day while I was praying outside Planned Parenthood, how could I “kill” my children……my answer to her was ….”I don’t know how I did it”. All the while at Planned Parenthood, all I could think about were the babies losing their lives and their tiny bodies being torn apart. The only peace I could receive from those thoughts were that they were going directly up to heaven to be with their Father.

By the grace of God I am here today to tell my story. God has, and continues to fill me with the strength, love, and courage to talk. I am here to honor my children and God. I have been called to do His work here on earth. And, I will continue to fight to end abortion until my last breath. We must all have compassion on the mothers that are aborting. For they do not know what they are doing, it is born out of ignorance and acceptance in our world. God calls us to love one another. Satan truly has a stronghold on abortion, as well as many other things. My heart breaks every time I hear about another girl that is abortion minded…..and I all I can do is talk to them and tell them my story and pray and let God take it from there.

What I have learned through all this, is that I was looking for some guy to love me, adore me, I wanted to be his princess. That should have been my father, it wasn’t. A father that would fight for me, and protect me and tell me how precious I was. It didn’t happen. My parents came from wounded backgrounds themselves, and were unable to do these things. It wasn’t their fault. I want to tell all fathers, please let your daughters know how precious they are, how they deserve to be treated like princesses, and how you will fight to protect them.

One constant I am finding in my consultant work at iChoice, is the one person that is missing in all the girl’s lives I have talked to is….a father. They just want to be loved….and every time a boy tells them they love them, the girls believe it, until they are done with them and onto the next girl. Everytime you sleep with someone, you are giving away a piece of your heart and soul, until you have nothing left. A hardened heart……..

I thank God everyday for loving me and for being my Father. I thank God for His continual mercy and grace and His unending forgiveness. I can’t wait to see Him and to finally meet my children one day. The peace I have been given through my process at iPath, is that my children are in heaven with my mom. Thank you Father for your peace….thank you Father for your mercy….

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